Weeks 11 - 15

Being a Mama hits me harder some days more than others. Everyday is a beautiful blessing, but some days..the simple reminder of this pregnancy brings me to my knees. I can't believe I'm a Mama. I can't believe I'm carrying a baby that is mine. My son or My daughter. My own. I can't believe God picked me. That He would choose to bless me like this. Today is one of those days.

Then again, looking back at my life, He has always been faithful. He has always provided. Even in my darkest of nights, He always brought joy in the morning. He's never failed. This pregnancy is just another testament to His faithfulness in my life.

Week 11 was magical. Though I was still sick, we had our first doctor's appointment. We heard his/her beautiful heartbeat and it left me speechless. We saw his/her cute little body and Daddy and I were in awe. We finally got to see the little babes we've been praying so deeply for. He/she was perfect. Once again, Thank You God.

Week 12 is when we finally announced! Little baby Salmons with his/her BFF Lucas :)

Week 13 is right when I started to feel better. My handsome nephew, Lucas, was born and took my breath away. He and my sister did so well during labor. God, once again, answered all of our prayers.  I can't wait to write a post about experiencing the day of his birth. It was truly amazing.

 Week 14 and I felt like a million bucks! 

Week 15 and the beginning of a tiny, tiny bump. Went to the doctor again and the heartbeat was 150. Baby was doing great!

Until next time..

Weeks 5 - 10

My favorite blogs (like this one, or this one, or this one), have all documented their pregnancies week by week. Some find it annoying, I find it amazing. I love reading about other women's symptoms, seeing their pictures, and knowing what is ahead for me on this journey.  As mentioned before, I want to document this journey not only for my babes, but for my own memory! So I guess, what I'm trying to say is, if you find it annoying, maybe you'll enjoy another blog for the next 9 months. 

Walking along the MKE lakeshore with my guy. 5 weeks

Week 6 (in sign language) - Taken in Washington DC on our road trip

Week 7 (in sign language)

And then I stopped documenting for a few weeks (oops!). Morning All day sickness and fatigue kicked in and I wasn't up for it. Week 8 - 10, my husband was a serious saint.  The way he took care of me during those weeks was beautifully selfless and I feel so grateful to have him. He cooked, he cleaned, he listened to me cry, he tucked me in at 8pm and let me sleep as long I wanted. He made me toast every morning and left it on my bedside table every morning before he left for work so I could eat it in bed before the nausea hit.  He made me separate dinners and breakfasts in order to find foods that I could keep down.  I am so so thankful to God for giving me a guy like that.  It is just a glimpse of the amazing father he will be and it made me feel so safe and secure knowing that me and baby have a guy like this to be our provider.

Baby,
You really do have the best Daddy in the world. I can't wait for you to experience his love. Whether you are a boy or a girl, I hope you are just like your Daddy in so many ways. He is the greatest.
Love,
Mama

And then there were three...

*Written at 8 weeks

Friday, June 27, 2014 is the day our family of two became a family of three. Technically it was a summer night two weeks prior to that but we don't need to get into the details.. ;)

Nick and I had been trying to conceive for two months and were shocked that God would bless us this quickly.  After being unsuccessful during the month of May, we were left a little heartbroken. Silly, I know. But I compared myself to other women, including my sister, who were able to conceive within the first month and my mind went a million different places.  As sad as that time was, I am so grateful for it. We pressed into the Lord, we reflected, we listened, and we were deeply comforted. We realized that we have such little control over the situation, but our God is so faithful. He wants to give us the desires of our hearts and He wants us to be fruitful. I can honestly say that as we headed into June, I was anxious, but so deeply comforted by the Lord's love and provision. I knew everything was going to be okay.

God decided June would be the month that our little baby's story would begin. After hearing stories of dear friends struggling with fertility (and reading countless blogs), I consider this to be one of my greatest blessings. Not because God loves me more, or because I deserve it more than anyone else, because Lord knows, I am so underserving of such a beautiful blessing, but because this is His perfect timing.  I am so aware of the struggles many women have to get pregnant, or stay pregnant, and I am still in awe of the fact that God has written a baby into my story. May I never complain about nausea, or gaining weight, or bloating. Next to my own salvation and dear husband, this is one of the greatest gifts the Lord has given me.

Now let's get back to that Friday…

Nick and I had waited all week to test because we didn't want to get our hopes up.  We woke up, bright and early, and Nick insisted that I should test alone and let him know when he got home from the gym. I still don't know why he wanted to do this, but I am actually so grateful.

I immediately used a cheap, dollar store test because I didn't want to waste my fancy ones in case I was in for a long journey.  As soon as that test got wet, I swore a line appeared.. but I'd blink and it went away. I couldn't even wait the full 3 minutes, I grabbed my fancy test and in less than a minute..my whole world turned upside down.

I couldn't, and I still can't, stop thanking God for the blessing. I fell to the ground, weeping, thanking the Lord repeatedly. Sounds dramatic, but this is my lifelong dream. It's mine and Nick's dream. And even as I write the blog post, 4 weeks later, I still cannot believe its real. 

When Nick walked in, I'll never forget the moment. He looked at me in the kitchen and said "well, you aren't crying…?" and I told him to look at the tests on the counter.  Once he saw them, I can't remember what he or I said, I think we were both in just complete shock and couldn't stop hugging/smooching. I was shaking, he cried a tear or two, and we just sat at the table in shock as we ate breakfast.

And of course I had to take my first, pregnant selfie at exactly 4 weeks. Because thats what pregnant women do and I was finally a pregnant woman myself!

I was just a little excited.

I told my sister that morning, as she knew my period was due that day and well, she's my best friend.  She convinced me to wait to tell my Mom in person since she wasn't able to tell our Mom about her pregnancy in person. (Yes, my sister is due with a baby boy in August. Our babies will be 7 months apart. 

Later that morning I texted my mom and told her Nick was craving wings (complete lie) and that they should meet us at our favorite place for wings that evening. She suggested that my Dad make wings instead so we decided to meet at their backyard pavilion. Once we got there, I handed her my pregnancy test. I told her "I found this in the driveway" (complete lie). It took her a second to get it, but once she did, she was pretty ecstatic.  **Video to come, still trying to figure out how to upload it!**

And this is how I told Nick's grandparents and parents..

I share all this, and probably many more updates, honestly for myself, for my family, and for our baby. I want him/her to know how much we wanted him/her before we even met them. I want him/her to know the years they can't remember and mostly how faithful God is to his/her family over the years.  

And because my mom keeps insisting I write things about my pregnancy down.  So here they are, Mama.