Weeks 28 & 29

I was so happy to finally be in the third trimester! I feel like its finally acceptable to start washing her clothes and start planning and making all the final preparations for her arrival! Oh, and btw.. I was on my way to my work's Ugly Christmas sweater party. I don't usually wear shirts with cats.

Week 29 is when a whole bunch of crazy pregnancy symptoms hit at once.  To begin, my ankles disappeared. I officially had cankles at all hours of the day and it was NOT pretty. Thankfully, my Mama bought me some compression socks (super sexy) and my feet are better than ever!  

Another crazy symptom? Cray-zay hormones. I hate to admit it, but I cried two times this week. And by cried, I mean sobbed. I've been ultra-sensitive this week which has left me feeling like I'm going through puberty all over again. After my final, silly sob sesh..I told myself that I have to make a more conscious effort to control it. It's only going to get worse as pregnancy ends, and especially worse once the baby comes.  From here on out, I'll be heavily relying on the good Lord's strength to keep me patient and happy :) (It really hasn't been as dramatic as it sounds. It's mostly hilarious because every crying session has been followed with me laughing hysterically at how dramatic I was ;))

Week 29 is also when we took a trip downtown Chicago with my parents for the weekend! It was so fun to have one last hurrah with them before Eleanor arrives!

Nick is so close to my family. I love how relaxed he is around them… my parents really are some of our best friends :)

My Favorite Things about Pregnancy

Pregnancy is just how I imagined it would be. And by imagined, I really mean dreamed about. I'm the kind of girl who has been dreaming about pregnancy for as long as I understood the concept of it. The girl who stuffed pillows her shirt and pretended to rub her 'bump'. The girl who dreamed of baby names years before even meeting her man. The girl who spent years of birthday wishes on the hope of one day having healthy, beautiful babies. I truly believe that one of God's purpose's for my life was to a be a Mama, in one way or another. I feel so grateful that I am able to do it through pregnancy.

I realize that I'm only about 29 weeks into this pregnancy, with the chance of lots of pain or misery ahead of me in the next 11 weeks… but as I've always said, the joy of carrying Eleanor truly outweighs it all. Although even more swelling, pains, and weight gains will come, I want to remember my favorite things about carrying sweet Eleanor.

• I love morning car rides. Most are spent with baby girl kicking away with worship music playing.  I sing and pray, she kicks, we talk.  I dream about the days when she will be buckled up behind me and I'll be able to see her beautiful face. I think about the silly conversations we'll have, the songs we'll sing together, and all the adventures we'll go on.

• I love every interaction Nick has with my bump. His precious 'good nights' that he whispers to her, how he'll reach for the bump under the covers every morning, and the way he constantly asks how she's doing. He rubs it every morning as I get ready for work and calls us 'his girls' every chance he gets.

• My joy is at an all-time high. It may be the pregnancy hormones, but I swear my laugh is louder, my joy is deeper and my spirit is lifted. I laugh at myself so much more, Nick's jokes crack me up more than usual, and the usual stress inducers have less affect on me. There was definitely a period in pregnancy where I felt overwhelmed and lower than usual, but praise God.. that season has passed. I can honestly say I've never been happier.

• Because of this, our marriage has never been better. Nick and I have had a great marriage for the past 2 and half years. We laugh everyday together and we are each others best friend. But pregnancy has made it even better when I didn't even think that was possible.  Having a baby has been a dream of ours..now that we are living it, we are on cloud 9. I am so grateful for this season with him, as I know our lives (and marriage) are about to be flipped upside down.

• Worshipping at church with a baby inside me is my favorite too. Standing there, with a blessing as big as a human life inside me, I'm reminded of God's faithfulness in life. I remember all the times I've stood in the same place with various worries, especially related to those about my own future or fertility, and I can't help be brought to tears with the way God has provided. I know that there will be so much about Eleanor's life that I'll worry about but when I'm worshipping the God of the universe, I feel the ultimate Comfort. And I know I'll find myself in the same seat, in the same row, worrying again about a plethora of things in the future … but as always, He will remain faithful.

• The nursery. Catching a glimpse of it as I walk down the hall, seeing the empty crib, and never-been-used rocker…my heart skips a beat. I love it. I love the anticipation and I love dreaming about what will come. 

• And of course, experiencing the bump.  Every little kick or twist she makes is amazing.  Sometimes when I sit back and feel for her, I am so amazed. That is my daughter. That is the little girl I'll get to snuggle in a few short weeks. That is the baby that is going to make me a Mama. I hold onto every precious kick as its a gentle reminder that she's doing okay. Sometimes I swear she does it just to comfort me. She does it exactly when I need it.

• There are a few silly things about pregnancy that I love and are worth mentioning… like the attention people give you, the way people will hold the door open for you, or ask to help you when you have your hands full. I love dressing the bump and how it made me look at my wardrobe in a new way. I love being able to eat without too much guilt. I love the bond you form when you talk to other Mama's. I love that I can now use pregnancy as my excuse to go to bed at 8pm, when I've actually done that for years prior to pregnancy. 

Speaking of.. its currently 9:00pm and after a 12 hour day at work..this Mama is pooped :) Here's to hoping and praying these feelings last for another 11.5 weeks! 

Weeks 26 - 27

Week 26 was Thanksgiving week! Let me tell you, Thanksgiving is much more fun when you are pregnant. Although I couldn't partake in the cocktails  and wine this year, I did participate in plenty of guilt-fee eating with elastic maternity pants which was pretty amazing :)

My mom hosted a beautiful dinner for mine and Nick's family! My sister sang a song, games were played, and we all swooned over my sweet nephew.

Last thanksgiving as just the two of us!

Nick with his Grandma, the amazing woman our Eleanor Rose is named after.

The hosts

Early morning picture before work during Week 27 (hello, sleepy eyes)! Between grad school, IEPs and life in general..week 27 was a busy one for me! We had our 26ish week appt and baby girl is measuring right on track! Her HR was 143 and the doctor believes she is still head up, butt down. Mama agrees as there have been plenty of painful kicks to the bladder this week :)

I also did the glucose tolerance test this week, and personally loved every second of that sugary orange drink (most women do not). Fingers crossed that all goes well and that there is no gestational diabetes for this mama!

Thankful

This year, I am so thankful for…

my relationship with the Lord, His death on the cross, and faithfulness in my life. 

my loving Husband, who loves me so well every single day. I could not have dreamed of a better man to live my life with or a better Father for my daughter. 

the beautiful girl growing inside me. I am in awe of the fact that God can take a piece of me, a piece of my husband, and grow such a perfect human being. I love her so much already.

my healthy, handsome nephew who brings our family so much joy.

my healthy and happy family.

my job, students, and coworkers, especially after a 4 week strike.

consistent friendships in my life.

our warm home and the food on the table.

What are you thankful for??

Week 22 - 25

The honeymoon phase of pregnancy continues.. :)

Although, I have to admit..everything is wider and bigger on my body. Pimples are a plenty. My ankles are slowly morphing into the same size as my calves and my thighs touch more than ever before. I've never loved my body as I should, but the challenge is becoming greater these days..

However, thanks to God, the joy of this pregnancy outweighs everything else. Despite being troubled by my new 'mom body', I am still so grateful to God to be on this journey. Whatever needs to happen to my body to grow a beautiful baby girl, so be it.  I may not fit into my fave skinny jeans next spring, but the important thing is that I'll be holding my sweet Eleanor..and thats all I could ask for.

***Disclaimer: I wish I could say that I've come to that conclusion all by myself, but I haven't. Between my husband's constant reassurance and God's grace…this is battle that I'm learning to overcome. But we can save those details for when we chat over a cup of coffee ;)

Week 22: We didn't do anything crazy fun for Halloween. Made some dinner, passed out candy, and talked about how fun it'll be to dress up baby girl next year. Daddy already bought her costume :)

Week 23: This is an inside joke with my family which was Nick's idea. I went with it so I can look back and remember to share with Eleanor all of the crazy memories we have with our families. She is so lucky to be blessed with such fun relatives!

Week 24: The kicks continued to get even stronger! Nick FINALLY felt her from the outside which was so, so special. During week 24 we also spent some time with Nick's 'cousin' Samantha and her husband who are expecting a baby boy in March as well! We are so happy to walk with them on this journey and to have our babies grow up together just like Nick did with Samantha and her brother. 

Week 25: Still feelin' great, sleeping a bit better, and loving life! Spent majority of week 25 alone as Nick was on a business trip, but I was able to spend some quality time with my sister and nephew which was so special to me. This picture was taken the day Nick came home and took me on a date in MKE to Maxie's restaurant and Purple door ice cream.. such a great night together!

Weeks 20 & 21

I've said it before and I'll say it again, the second trimester really IS the best part of pregnancy. Sure the peeing in the middle of the night stinks, but thats about it. Food tastes great, bump is the perfect size (although I can't wait to get bigger), and energy is high! I'm hoping I'm like my sister and can continue this momentum until delivery!

I may or may not have completely rushed this chalkboard :) 

Week 20 is when I finally felt like I was popping, and not just chubby. This picture must have been after a big meal or with a full bladder though because I look especially bumpy.

Baby girl has started kicking everyday now! Mostly when I'm eating and never when I'm trying to get Daddy to feel her. So anxious for the day she really started flipping around enough for Nick to feel. 

This guy thinks he is hilarious. 

To Read on the Hard Days

Now that we know the gender, and the name has been announced, the reality of having a baby has hit me even more…and I truly didn't even think that was possible.

I keep remembering back to those months of trying to conceive, or even the months we spent just thinking about whether or not it was time to begin.

I remember the worship songs I would listen to on repeat as they would give me a sense of peace, even if it only lasted for 3 minutes.

I remember the nights Nick and I would pray together, asking begging God to answer our prayers.

I remember the insane amount of time I would spent reading blogs or website that would give various 'tips on conception', clinging to anything positive I could get my hands on.

I remember writing a list of everything God has blessed me with, trusting that He would continue to be faithful.

I remember reading my bible, the same verses over and over and over until I felt better.

I remember those damn ovulation tests and how they determined whether I would have a good or bad day. Yes, I am so ashamed of this..

I remember the cramps, the bleeding, and the heartbreak.

I remember letting myself get caught up in the 'what if's and Nick having to talk me off the ledge.


I write these memories down so that I may never forget how deeply we wanted this and how great of a blessing it is. This post will be for the times I feel upset about my weight, the nights where we don't sleep a wink, or for the day she colors on my couch with permanent marker..may I always remember the amazing blessing that she is, and how faithful God has been.

Dear Eleanor {Week 21}

I wanted to write you a letter during this stage of pregnancy as it has become my favorite part of it all, and I want to remember every moment of it. These past few weeks have been a really sweet time for me and your Daddy. We're on cloud 9.

I spend most of my time working on grad school work (I'll be finished the week you are due, hallelujah!), walking the picket lines as I am currently on strike, and planning your nursery. I am so anxious to get the rocking chair so I can sit in there. I have a feeling it is easily going to become my favorite room in the house. 

Your Daddy spends his days at work and his evenings in the garage building a farmhouse table for me. He is currently nesting mode, trying to get as many projects around the house before your baby shower and before your arrival. When I have grad school to work on, he cooks, cleans, and does everything around the house for me. Your Daddy is incredibly selfless and hard working. 

When we're together, we sit on the couch and talk about you. Every evening we eat dinner together and pray for you. You are constantly on our minds. So much of our time is spent dreaming about you. Talking about our future with you. Since you've come into our lives, Daddy and I have grown even closer and fallen deeper in love. More than ever, I feel so grateful that I have your Daddy as my husband. I am so honored to be his. I am so glad he is your Daddy. You are a very lucky girl. 

As for you, you are moving lots throughout the day. Your movements are still subtle, but more consistent everyday. I can't wait until you kick me stronger! I love feeling you in there. It reminds me that I am never alone and I have my sweet baby girl with me. We chat a lot in the car. I tell you all about whats going on out here and I explain all of the family members you have waiting for you. You love when Mama lays on the couch or plays music. Daddy loves to talk to you too. He asks how you are doing everyday as he rubs my belly. Sometimes he gets really close and tries to tell you secrets about me, just to make me laugh.  He loves to call us "his girls" and it makes my heart flutter every time. 

I'm praying for you, sweet Eleanor. I love you so much.

Oh, and Daddy decided on your middle name -- Eleanor Rose. Rose is after your Great-grandma Sharon Rose  (Daddy's grandma). She is one of our most favorite people in the world. Your great-grandma is full of energy and joy! Like Nana, she is a follower of Christ and so so generous. She is very loving and kind to everyone that she meets.  Daddy has lots of sweet memories of her and your Great-Grandpa from growing up and he lights up whenever he shares a story with me. Both of them have made Daddy the man he is today and we are so grateful for that. As soon as we started discussing middle names, Daddy knew he wanted you to be named after her. I pray that you would grow to be just like Great-Grandma Sharon. I can't wait for you two to meet!

Mama

Our Sweet Baby Girl

Nick and I couldn't be more excited to be expecting a baby girl. We've had a feeling since the beginning that our little one was a girl so we weren't very surprised when our ultrasound confirmed it.  Something about my sweet husband just made me know he would have a daughter. He is so tender, so protective, so loving towards me..and I just knew God would give him another girl to love on. Nick is so excited to be a Daddy to a baby girl. He is already nervous for the day when she brings her first boyfriend home and already knows she will have him wrapped around her finger :)

Before we knew for sure it was a girl, we already had our potential daughter named.  Actually, I've had her named before I even met my husband which is why I am so excited to share her name and can't imagine holding it in another 20 weeks…

Eleanor Salmons

a.k.a 'Elle'

Named after my Great-Grandmother, Eleanor Tadda

(middle name TBD)

I grew up with an amazing Great-Grandmother, who we referred to as Nana. She was the most amazing woman I've ever known. I loved every moment I spent with her as a kid and young adult. Every memory I have of her is so precious to me.. hearing about stories of her life, eating ham sandwiches on rye bread in her little apartment, spending the holidays with her in our home..every moment was magic and I would do anything to have one last chance to see her again.

Although I could go on forever about how precious my Nana was to me, there are three attributes of her that I'll never forget. These are the three things that made her the woman that I adored, and the reasons I wanted my daughter to be named after such an amazing woman.

• Nana was a follower and lover of Jesus. Even as a young girl with no concept of Jesus Christ, I knew my Nana had a strong belief in Him and an unwavering faith. I fully believe that I came to know Jesus because of the prayers that Nana was praying on my behalf. I am so grateful for her faith as it paved the way for me to find my own.

• Nana taught me about acceptance and love through her care for my Great Aunt. Nana had a daughter (my Great Aunt) with Williams Syndrome whom she loved deeply and devoted her entire life to. Despite a lot of opposition from schools and doctors, Nana believed in my great Aunt, Lorrie, and raised her well. As a little girl, I didn't even realize Lorrie had a disability. Nana loved her that well. She accepted Lorrie and loved her as she would anyone else. This was my first exposure to a person with a disability, and I believe I learned to love and accept people with disabilities because of the love Nana showed Lorrie. My heart for people with disabilities was grown out of Nana's heart for Lorrie and I couldn't be more grateful that she instilled that in me at a young age.

• Finally, because of Nana's faith in the Lord and unwavering love for people, Nana was extremely generous. She constantly gave to people, whatever she could give. I don't believe she had a selfish bone in her body. Nana loved to help the people she loved by giving whatever resources she had. 

Over the next 5 months, this is my prayer for baby Eleanor, that she would grow to be just like her Great-Great-Grandmother, the greatest woman I've ever known.

My sweet Nana on her 95th birthday in 2008, with Lorrie in the background :) I miss her so much.

Weeks 16 - 19

People are not lying when they say the second trimester is heaven. I feel like a million bucks, I have no food aversions and plenty of energy. Sure, I have a bit of back and sciatic pain but this Mama is not complaining! 

Week 16 was when I felt like I was finally getting a bump. So young, so naive ;)  It's only been 3 weeks since this picture and I feel SO much bigger. 

 During week 17 we went to a Cubs game with our best friends, Kegan and Lory. I begged baby to move this entire week but he/she was stubborn!

Daddy thought it would be funny to edit my chalkboard when I wasn't home one night.  However, its true :( Mama bear is on strike at work, making this Babes' first strike too. BUT - the best part of week 18 was the fact that I could feel baby kicks every evening! As soon as I got home from walking the picket lines and laid on the couch, baby went crazy! I am one happy Mama to feel those little tiny flutters.

During week 19 we went to the Doctor and found out Babes' gender! We had a small gender reveal (see below) with my family and will reveal to Nick's parents tomorrow. At the gender reveal, I had each family member guess which wives tales pointed to boy or girl for me.  My Mama won, no shocker there.  Lot of the wives tales point to a Baby Girl but we shall see ;) The gender was revealed by popping black balloons with colored confetti inside.

Some pictures from our 'Fall' theme gender reveal/Great Grandmas's birthday.

Some Serious and Some not-so Serious Wishes for Baby

With our appointment to find out the gender of baby just around the corner, I can't help but dream what he/she will be like. Who he/she will look like. What their personality will be.  Boy or girl, though, there are things that I hope and pray for. Some things more desperately than others.

Baby love,

I hope…

- I hope you are healthy. Mama has heard nightmares about what can happen to you. Daddy and I pray everyday that God would form you perfectly. Whatever happens though, we love you. We think you are already perfect. We trust God is taking the best care of you in there.

- I hope you come to know and love Jesus. He will bring you more joy than you could ever imagine. He loves you so deeply, baby.

- I hope you are tender-hearted towards people with disabilities. I pray that you see them like Jesus does. I pray that you have a softened heart towards them and a call to love and serve them.

- I hope you know how much your Mommy and Daddy love you, and each other.  I can't wait to tell you our love story because its a pretty great one. I pray that we always treat each other with love and respect so that you come to expect that in your future spouse.

- I hope you are just like your Daddy in so many ways. Creative, crazy intelligent, hard-working, selfless, hilarious..the list is endless.

- I hope you and your cousin, Lucas, are best friends.

- I hope you enjoy dancing in the kitchen with me and Daddy. On Friday or Saturday evenings, your Daddy and I like to put on music, eat some appetizers, and dance in the kitchen..even if we have guests. I can't wait until we can have you in our arms during our dance parties. And I also can't wait to embarrass you in the future when we do this :)

- I hope you are like Auntie Lindsay, too. I hope you get her sense of humor, her fire for following the Lord, and sensitive heart. I've always wanted to be just like her.

- I hope you like singing in the car with me (at least when you're young).

- I hope you like Katy Perry.

- I hope you are able to laugh at yourself.

- I hope you find your passion in life. Whatever it may be. Daddy and I are here to make sure you find it, and reach it.

Babes, if all or none of these things happen, don't worry. I'll love you just the same.  God is making you your own person and it's going to be amazing. I love you more than anything.

Weeks 11 - 15

Being a Mama hits me harder some days more than others. Everyday is a beautiful blessing, but some days..the simple reminder of this pregnancy brings me to my knees. I can't believe I'm a Mama. I can't believe I'm carrying a baby that is mine. My son or My daughter. My own. I can't believe God picked me. That He would choose to bless me like this. Today is one of those days.

Then again, looking back at my life, He has always been faithful. He has always provided. Even in my darkest of nights, He always brought joy in the morning. He's never failed. This pregnancy is just another testament to His faithfulness in my life.

Week 11 was magical. Though I was still sick, we had our first doctor's appointment. We heard his/her beautiful heartbeat and it left me speechless. We saw his/her cute little body and Daddy and I were in awe. We finally got to see the little babes we've been praying so deeply for. He/she was perfect. Once again, Thank You God.

Week 12 is when we finally announced! Little baby Salmons with his/her BFF Lucas :)

Week 13 is right when I started to feel better. My handsome nephew, Lucas, was born and took my breath away. He and my sister did so well during labor. God, once again, answered all of our prayers.  I can't wait to write a post about experiencing the day of his birth. It was truly amazing.

 Week 14 and I felt like a million bucks! 

Week 15 and the beginning of a tiny, tiny bump. Went to the doctor again and the heartbeat was 150. Baby was doing great!

Until next time..

Weeks 5 - 10

My favorite blogs (like this one, or this one, or this one), have all documented their pregnancies week by week. Some find it annoying, I find it amazing. I love reading about other women's symptoms, seeing their pictures, and knowing what is ahead for me on this journey.  As mentioned before, I want to document this journey not only for my babes, but for my own memory! So I guess, what I'm trying to say is, if you find it annoying, maybe you'll enjoy another blog for the next 9 months. 

Walking along the MKE lakeshore with my guy. 5 weeks

Week 6 (in sign language) - Taken in Washington DC on our road trip

Week 7 (in sign language)

And then I stopped documenting for a few weeks (oops!). Morning All day sickness and fatigue kicked in and I wasn't up for it. Week 8 - 10, my husband was a serious saint.  The way he took care of me during those weeks was beautifully selfless and I feel so grateful to have him. He cooked, he cleaned, he listened to me cry, he tucked me in at 8pm and let me sleep as long I wanted. He made me toast every morning and left it on my bedside table every morning before he left for work so I could eat it in bed before the nausea hit.  He made me separate dinners and breakfasts in order to find foods that I could keep down.  I am so so thankful to God for giving me a guy like that.  It is just a glimpse of the amazing father he will be and it made me feel so safe and secure knowing that me and baby have a guy like this to be our provider.

Baby,
You really do have the best Daddy in the world. I can't wait for you to experience his love. Whether you are a boy or a girl, I hope you are just like your Daddy in so many ways. He is the greatest.
Love,
Mama

And then there were three...

*Written at 8 weeks

Friday, June 27, 2014 is the day our family of two became a family of three. Technically it was a summer night two weeks prior to that but we don't need to get into the details.. ;)

Nick and I had been trying to conceive for two months and were shocked that God would bless us this quickly.  After being unsuccessful during the month of May, we were left a little heartbroken. Silly, I know. But I compared myself to other women, including my sister, who were able to conceive within the first month and my mind went a million different places.  As sad as that time was, I am so grateful for it. We pressed into the Lord, we reflected, we listened, and we were deeply comforted. We realized that we have such little control over the situation, but our God is so faithful. He wants to give us the desires of our hearts and He wants us to be fruitful. I can honestly say that as we headed into June, I was anxious, but so deeply comforted by the Lord's love and provision. I knew everything was going to be okay.

God decided June would be the month that our little baby's story would begin. After hearing stories of dear friends struggling with fertility (and reading countless blogs), I consider this to be one of my greatest blessings. Not because God loves me more, or because I deserve it more than anyone else, because Lord knows, I am so underserving of such a beautiful blessing, but because this is His perfect timing.  I am so aware of the struggles many women have to get pregnant, or stay pregnant, and I am still in awe of the fact that God has written a baby into my story. May I never complain about nausea, or gaining weight, or bloating. Next to my own salvation and dear husband, this is one of the greatest gifts the Lord has given me.

Now let's get back to that Friday…

Nick and I had waited all week to test because we didn't want to get our hopes up.  We woke up, bright and early, and Nick insisted that I should test alone and let him know when he got home from the gym. I still don't know why he wanted to do this, but I am actually so grateful.

I immediately used a cheap, dollar store test because I didn't want to waste my fancy ones in case I was in for a long journey.  As soon as that test got wet, I swore a line appeared.. but I'd blink and it went away. I couldn't even wait the full 3 minutes, I grabbed my fancy test and in less than a minute..my whole world turned upside down.

I couldn't, and I still can't, stop thanking God for the blessing. I fell to the ground, weeping, thanking the Lord repeatedly. Sounds dramatic, but this is my lifelong dream. It's mine and Nick's dream. And even as I write the blog post, 4 weeks later, I still cannot believe its real. 

When Nick walked in, I'll never forget the moment. He looked at me in the kitchen and said "well, you aren't crying…?" and I told him to look at the tests on the counter.  Once he saw them, I can't remember what he or I said, I think we were both in just complete shock and couldn't stop hugging/smooching. I was shaking, he cried a tear or two, and we just sat at the table in shock as we ate breakfast.

And of course I had to take my first, pregnant selfie at exactly 4 weeks. Because thats what pregnant women do and I was finally a pregnant woman myself!

I was just a little excited.

I told my sister that morning, as she knew my period was due that day and well, she's my best friend.  She convinced me to wait to tell my Mom in person since she wasn't able to tell our Mom about her pregnancy in person. (Yes, my sister is due with a baby boy in August. Our babies will be 7 months apart. 

Later that morning I texted my mom and told her Nick was craving wings (complete lie) and that they should meet us at our favorite place for wings that evening. She suggested that my Dad make wings instead so we decided to meet at their backyard pavilion. Once we got there, I handed her my pregnancy test. I told her "I found this in the driveway" (complete lie). It took her a second to get it, but once she did, she was pretty ecstatic.  **Video to come, still trying to figure out how to upload it!**

And this is how I told Nick's grandparents and parents..

I share all this, and probably many more updates, honestly for myself, for my family, and for our baby. I want him/her to know how much we wanted him/her before we even met them. I want him/her to know the years they can't remember and mostly how faithful God is to his/her family over the years.  

And because my mom keeps insisting I write things about my pregnancy down.  So here they are, Mama.

Whole30: Results

We did it! Nick and I completed 30 days of no alcohol, sugar, grains, dairy, or legumes. BOOM!

Although I didn't do the Whole30 for strictly weight loss, it happened. And it feels great to say that. But because that isn't half as important as the other benefits/non scale victories,  we'll do that later.

Overall Results:

• High energy! No more crashing during the day, no more '2:30 feeling', just consistent level energy. I feel more productive and patient with my students and around the house with my love. This has been the biggest eye-opener for me. I absolutely love how I feel eating this way, cannot imagine going back to the way it was.

• I now know what it feels like to be hungry and to be satisfied. My brain and my stomach communicate again. 

• My thoughts and emotions are very clear. This is hard to describe, but I feel more in tune with my feelings. I am communicating more clearly. I can handle stress with a more level head. PMS was still there, but half as strong. In the same sense, my joy is greater too. I've always felt happiness but it just seems to be more often and more genuine throughout the day. This is my number 1 reason why i will continue eating this way as much as possible..Having level emotions and being in tune with your body is priceless and SO worth going without a few things.

• Minimal menstrual cramping. This is huge for me.

• I'm actually excited to continue eating this way. Never thought that would happen.

• Amazing sleep. No more watching TV to 'help me fall asleep'. I go to bed, lay my head down and I'm out. Waking up in the morning is easier too (still hate going to the gym in the AM though).

• No bloating! No sickening "full" feeling after meals.

• Skin is clear and soft. 

• No more 'needing' something sweet after every meal. Not even fruit (okay, sometimes fruit.)

• Shorts that were tight last summer, fit well now. Clothes fit better overall now, woo!

• Hair is soft, only use conditioner every few days, and it holds a curl now (Silly, but true).

• I still miss having an occasional treat, but I don't need chocolate as much as I used to. Saying no is no big deal now.

• And because I wasn't allowed to weigh myself for 30 days, Food/the scale were no longer my greatest obsession. Once the difficult days were over, it became routine. I began feeling better and eating this way just became habit. I couldn't weigh myself so I had to trust that whole foods (and lots of them) were best for me. Most of all, I had to trust that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and if the God of the universe loves me, then nothing on that damn scale should change my  focus. 

Let me tell you, its NOT over for me. Towards the end, I began dreading today as I knew that scale would be available and I know the games I like to play (like eating something bad for me, jumping on the scale the next day and letting that control the outcome of my day). As great as this experience has been, it has shown me just how huge this stronghold is on me. It has shown me that no matter how many Whole30's I successfully complete, I am just as likely to go back to my own ways..putting food and scale back in control. The only way I'll beat this demon is to consistently give up control to God and rely on his strength and grace every single day. As we are in the middle of Holy Week, I am so grateful for the resurrection of Jesus as it is through Him that I can have life, a second chance, forgiveness every single time I screw up. Although I see this Whole30 as a victory and huge accomplishment, I know the journey ahead of me is long.

That being said.. tonight I am taking a hammer to my scale. This girl has inspired me to do that. Check out her instagram..she explains why this is important better than I ever could.

I am so grateful for this experience. For the way it has brought my Husband and I closer. For the way it has forced me to face my difficulties. For everything I have learned. For the fresh breath of air it has breathed into my relationship with God.

Total Pounds Lost: 6.5lbs
Total Inches: 10inches overall

**Just want to say thank you everyone who has reached out to me since my first post. I was am in awe of all of the encouragement and support..and the number of people who have said "I'm the same way". Know that when I said I'm praying for you, I really am. Thanks for the all the love!