My sweet, beautiful daughter,
- I've fallen in love with you over the past 3 weeks. There have been several nights where I've held you in my arms and cried over how beautiful you are and how deeply I love you. I still cannot believe you're mine. I want to do everything I can to give you the best life ever and protect you from everything I can. You are absolutely perfect.
- For the first 2 weeks, your Dada and I didn't put you down. At all. At night, we took shifts and made sure that one of us was holding you at all times. We could have put you down, but we just didn't want to. You are too perfect, too precious, too amazing. We wanted to soak up every ounce of you. We wanted to spoil you as much as we could. The only reason why we stopped is because Dada had to go back to work and we needed a better system. I still hold you for a few hours during the night though and for some of your naps during the day. I just can't get enough of you.
- You make crazy grunting noises. Constantly. Everyone says you are one of the most vocal newborns they know..and I agree! This is another reason why we had to put in your crib sooner than we wanted… we can't sleep with all your crazy noises!
- You also make the silliest expressions! You are constantly moving your eyebrows and lips to make silly faces. You already have such a fun personality!
- I breastfed you for about 2 weeks until we switched to exclusive pumping. As amazing as those two weeks were as we bonded through nursing, you started to not love it as much. You fought me on every latch which left us both sad and frustrated. After speaking with the doctor, Auntie, and a lactation consultant named Eleanor (which I took as a sign), I made the decision to pump instead of forcing nursing. I'll never forget that first bottle. You were so relaxed. I was so relaxed. We were new people! I was able to enjoy my baby again. I don't regret it one bit. You needed a happy Mama and you needed to eat.
- You love to dance with your Mama and Dada. Starting on the second day you were home, we will hold you and dance to a mixture of worship songs and Katy Perry :). You instantly relax when you hear certain songs that I listened to on repeat when you were inside me. This is one of my favorite things to do with you. I love to sing and pray over you... and I cry almost every time. It is so surreal to hold you in my arms and worship Jesus. Holding you is like holding a peace of heaven.
- As I've healed over these past few weeks and my hormones have begun to balance out, life has been hard on your Mama. I've felt a bit out of control between the baby blues and my body just not being the same. Your father has been amazing through it all. He has taken care of everything for us. He feeds me as I feed you. He cleans and cooks. He listens to me cry and prays over us everyday. He keeps me positive. He believes in me and constantly tells me how proud he is. You have an amazing Dada. He loves you so much and does everything he can to help with you. He's smitten with you and you have him wrapped around your finger. I couldn't have picked a better father for you. You are so, so lucky to have him.
You've been sleeping alone for way too long..and I miss you too much to keep writing. It's time to snuggle. More later..
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