I realize that I'm only about 29 weeks into this pregnancy, with the chance of lots of pain or misery ahead of me in the next 11 weeks… but as I've always said, the joy of carrying Eleanor truly outweighs it all. Although even more swelling, pains, and weight gains will come, I want to remember my favorite things about carrying sweet Eleanor.
- I love morning car rides. Most are spent with baby girl kicking away with worship music playing. I sing and pray, she kicks, we talk. I dream about the days when she will be buckled up behind me and I'll be able to see her beautiful face. I think about the silly conversations we'll have, the songs we'll sing together, and all the adventures we'll go on.
- I love every interaction Nick has with my bump. His precious 'good nights' that he whispers to her, how he'll reach for the bump under the covers every morning, and the way he constantly asks how she's doing. He rubs it every morning as I get ready for work and calls us 'his girls' every chance he gets.
- My joy is at an all-time high. It may be the pregnancy hormones, but I swear my laugh is louder, my joy is deeper and my spirit is lifted. I laugh at myself so much more, Nick's jokes crack me up more than usual, and the usual stress inducers have less affect on me. There was definitely a period in pregnancy where I felt overwhelmed and lower than usual, but praise God.. that season has passed. I can honestly say I've never been happier.
- Because of this, our marriage has never been better. Nick and I have had a great marriage for the past 2 and half years. We laugh everyday together and we are each others best friend. But pregnancy has made it even better when I didn't even think that was possible. Having a baby has been a dream of ours..now that we are living it, we are on cloud 9. I am so grateful for this season with him, as I know our lives (and marriage) are about to be flipped upside down.
- Worshipping at church with a baby inside me is my favorite too. Standing there, with a blessing as big as a human life inside me, I'm reminded of God's faithfulness in life. I remember all the times I've stood in the same place with various worries, especially related to those about my own future or fertility, and I can't help be brought to tears with the way God has provided. I know that there will be so much about Eleanor's life that I'll worry about but when I'm worshipping the God of the universe, I feel the ultimate Comfort. And I know I'll find myself in the same seat, in the same row, worrying again about a plethora of things in the future … but as always, He will remain faithful.
- The nursery. Catching a glimpse of it as I walk down the hall, seeing the empty crib, and never-been-used rocker…my heart skips a beat. I love it. I love the anticipation and I love dreaming about what will come.
- And of course, experiencing the bump. Every little kick or twist she makes is amazing. Sometimes when I sit back and feel for her, I am so amazed. That is my daughter. That is the little girl I'll get to snuggle in a few short weeks. That is the baby that is going to make me a Mama. I hold onto every precious kick as its a gentle reminder that she's doing okay. Sometimes I swear she does it just to comfort me. She does it exactly when I need it.
- There are a few silly things about pregnancy that I love and are worth mentioning… like the attention people give you, the way people will hold the door open for you, or ask to help you when you have your hands full. I love dressing the bump and how it made me look at my wardrobe in a new way. I love being able to eat without too much guilt. I love the bond you form when you talk to other Mama's. I love that I can now use pregnancy as my excuse to go to bed at 8pm, when I've actually done that for years prior to pregnancy.
Speaking of.. its currently 9:00pm and after a 12 hour day at work..this Mama is pooped :) Here's to hoping and praying these feelings last for another 11.5 weeks!
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